how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
