and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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