Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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