I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I could fuck to npr.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
