beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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