This is not my ceiling
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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