May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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