Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
