She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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