hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
