Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
