so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
