Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
