Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
