this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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