i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
