He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize