Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
