Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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