Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
