i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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