that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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