I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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