I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
