Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
