I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
