I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
