good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
