Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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