he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize