it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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