I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
