Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
