I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
