Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just made out with a guy for $7.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

(706): View more from Georgia

And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

Fav 49 3651 1022
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(540): View more from Virginia

You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

Fav 9 1160 3793
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(516): View more from New York

Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!

Fav 6 3131 1189
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(817): View more from Texas

No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

Fav 11 2667 963
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(206): View more from Washington

Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

Fav 4 2726 812
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(248): View more from Michigan

I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

Fav 8 686 1067
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(210): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.

Fav 0 35 7
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(256): View more from Alabama

He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer

Fav 0 78 23
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