My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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