i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
