So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
