Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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