He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
