Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sorry about my life...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
