Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
