you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
