hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
