i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
