i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
