hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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