Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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