As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
