So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
