apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
