Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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