Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
