oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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