he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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