maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
