My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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