I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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