I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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