So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are two peas in an std pod
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
