just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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