never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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